featured post: “hello me…” by solo pronto

There are so many fabulous, engaging and relatable blog posts out there in the ALI world because we have so many levels on which our common experiences of pregnancy loss, infertility, heartache and longing connect us. Every so often, though, you will find a post so moving that it deals a swift punch to your gut when the agonizing familiarity sets in. I had today’s featured post open for several days on my iPhone before I could read all the way through it. When I received the link to this page in an email and clicked it, I was sitting in the living room with my parents and brothers watching TV. Not an ideal time to cry in front of the family.

Shannon of Solo Pronto gets it right, and she got me:

Infertility hung around.  Dragging me under.  I couldn’t get my head back above water…. I hit the lowest point of my life last year before finally, slowly, I began to claw my way back.  Back to life, back to Rik, back to myself.  But I still wasn’t ok.  I still wasn’t ME.  I felt unsteady.  A bad case of vertigo.  No real sense of which was up.  I was trying…. I just wasn’t getting very far.  The sadness was always there.

PAIL has featured several posts from around the ALI blogosphere, including three about working to find positivity and live in the moment while pregnant after infertility, working through the hard realities of early parenting, and the fear of starting to TTC #2. Shannon’s post about regaining a sense of who she was before infertility is the prelude to this trilogy of infertility experiences, and highlights the nuanced emotional highs and lows of pregnancy after infertility and loss.

I went from wanting a glass of wine to peeing on a stick and then being completely face down in my bathroom floor crying and shaking and freezing and saying the only two things I could say: “Oh my gosh” and “Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you”…. Those first few days were such a blur.  Terrifyingly happy and just plain terrified.  Loss does a number on your faith.  It’s true.  People say you’ve gotta have faith….it’s hard when you have gone through a loss.  I was beyond scared.

So many of us can understand that terrifying combination of intense joy, intense fear and intense disbelief. Shannon captures that moment here perfectly, and the familiarity was, for me, jarring and compelling.

Please head over to Solo Pronto and share your thoughts with Shannon on her post “Hello me…” Comments on this thread will be closed in an effort for you to connect with Shannon directly and share your thoughts with her.


If you have a post (of any kind, old or new!) that you would like share, please fill out the form on the main Featured Posts page here. You are welcome to submit your a post of your own! 

And a reminder – there is a group of fabulous featured posts from June indexed under the June 2012 collection

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