featured post: “Are you there universe? It’s me, Jay” by The 2 Week Wait

When my DH and I first started facing infertility issues I had no worry whatsoever about sharing our struggles with my boss and co-workers.  I pretty much had the best job and the best boss and co-workers.  I worked half-time in a position that allowed me to bring our foster children to work with me and I could also work from home during infertility treatments when I felt too sick to go into the office.  Yes, I do know how lucky I am.

I also knew after SJ’s birth that I would be a SAHM.  It was something I have always wanted and also coincided with a move in which I would have to leave my job anyway.   We worried a great deal about the decision for me to be a full-time Mom.  Could we handle it financially?  Would I feel fulfilled in my role as a Mom?  Would I miss my career or the opportunity to pursue my career?  Would I be bored with the day-in and day-out routine of Mommyhood?

We are 8 weeks into my being a SAHM and so far the decision is the absolute right one for me.  It will take some time to assess whether the worries I had will come true, or if they are just worries.  Right now I am ‘baby-drunk’ and I cannot imagine not spending every day with SJ.  It will also take some time to assess how/if being a parent has changed my priorities.

In a post last month, Jay from The 2 Week Wait, discusses how ‘coming-out’ to her boss about her infertility negatively impacted her job:

“…since I told my boss about my infertility issues, things haven’t been ideal. I was hoping including him in on my struggle would make him more understanding of my occasional doctor appointments but instead, he heard the word ‘ovary’ and much like a woodland creature, he panicked and ran away. OK, not literally ran away but at the very least, he used the wheels on his chair and rolled away from me slowly.”

Jay also discusses how her perception of parenthood, prior to being a parent, was that you would take fewer risks as a parent.  That you would choose to ‘stay the course’, so to speak, rather than try a new venture.  Jay writes:

“One of the things that have amazed me the most about this turn of events is I always believed that when you had children, you took fewer risks. You have people depending on you and you don’t want to screw around with your livelihood. What I didn’t expect was that my son actually has motivated me to take more risks. Of course I don’t mean bungee jumping off a crumbling bridge, eating raw eggs on a daily basis or taking your life savings and gambling it away recklessly. I’m speaking more of calculated risks that could offer rewards beyond what you have now. I want to do better because not only do I want the best life for him as possible, but I want him to have a mother who does something for a living that makes her happy. As my mom has always said, “A happy mother is a good mother.””

Jay’s post inspired me to look at my priorities in life.  How have they shifted since having SJ?  Do I want to return to work?  If so, in what capacity?  Do I want to return to the same career field even?  I can tell you all right now that my experience with my midwife and my birth experience have really inspired an interest in me to learn more about midwifery and birth.  Perhaps this will just be an interest, and perhaps somewhere down the road it will lead to something more.  And while I know I pretty much had the ideal job situation to have to experience infertility issues, that this may not be the case in the future.

Also for us, me being a SAHM is a big risk.  My DH is a minister and with that comes a minister’s income.  Financially, we worry about this choice.  But like Jay writes about in her post, this risk, this metaphorical ‘cliff-dive’, is one that is calculated and is so far offering rewards beyond what I could have imagined.

Jay’s new outlook on life after the birth of her son has led her to take a new job, one I am sure we will all be excited for, as she is now working for Fertility Authority!   Jay’s post gives us SO much to talk about, which is one of the reasons I am really excited to feature it here.  As always, comments here are closed so you can go visit Jay’s blog directly and read and share your thoughts on her post, Are you there universe?  It’s me, Jay, and also congratulate her on her new endeavor!


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  1. […] Are You There, Universe? It’s Me, Jay by Jay (perspectives on parenting) […]

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