september 2012 – monthly theme posts – guilt & grieving

Here are the posts for our September 2012 topic “Guilt & Grieving.” It’s a heavy one, to be sure, and hard for a lot of people to write about. If you couldn’t get it all out yet and you need a little more time, never fear– I’m like the cool teacher in high school who let you turn in your paper a day late (did you have that teacher? I sure didn’t!) and I will add latecomers to the list for a few days.

In a week, this post will move to the drop-down menu in the pink toolbar, so you can check there to come back and see what you missed or re-read a particularly moving post.

Suggested Prompts:

  • What was your vision of family building?
  • What got lost– or, more accurately, what did IF and/or loss take away from you?
  • Did your loss evolve over time into something else?
  • How do you balance grief and guilt?
  • How supportive were other people of your need to go through a grieving process? Did you feel like you could talk about it?

Contributing Bloggers:

  1. SRB of Little Chicken Nuggets took us through an experience “in which catching a fleeting glimpse of a person triggers a painful flashback to my ectopic pregnancy and ends with an ultrasound photo of #2” in “the pregnancy factory.”
  2. Claudine of This Beautiful Life wrote about grieving the loss of innocence due to IF/IVF.
  3. Gemini Momma of Three Geminis and a Sagittarius cleaned out her cabinets in her monthly theme post about “a blubbery compilation of what infertility took from me AND what it gave to me, and how those two things will forever be intertwined.”
  4. Emma of Emma in Mommyland explored some difficult territory in “grieving over the experiences I thought I’d have after my baby was born, but didn’t” in “A Not-So Fairy Tale Ending.”
  5. Cathy of ANDMom wrote that “infertility and special needs are the path less traveled, but not without a fair amount of guilt and wondering” in “Guilt.”
  6. Sarah of Mommyhood After Fertility Frustration explored her thoughts on “infertility taking away normal aspects of our lives and leaving guilt and grief in it’s wake” in “Good Grief… Why Do I Feel Guilty?
  7. Kristen of Buck Up, Buttercup is focusing on the things she has to be grateful for, and she tries to keep perspective because “it’s hard to be sad with two perfect babies in your arms.” Read her post, “Grief + Things I’m Grateful For + The Babies Have Taken the Pain Away.”
  8. Traathy of Happily Ever After is “living through the past and loving the present” in her post “Jade is not a pretty colour.”
  9. Josey of My Cheap Version of Therapy thought she was going to write one thing and ended up with another, saying “I didn’t think I had anything to feel guilty about or to grieve about. I guess I was wrong” of her post “Guilt and Grieving.”
  10. Courtney of All The Sun For You wrote a post exploring “a myriad of emotions relating to all things TTC” in “Guilt, Grieving, and Moving On.”
  11. No Baby Ruth talked about how “it’s hard to deal with pain when you have the luxury of feeling so much joy” in “On The Rebound.”
  12. Ms. Furture PharmD of Mom PharmD discusses how she lost her relationship with her sister in law in her post “Infertility, You Thief.”

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Comments

  1. I loved how even though this could be such a painful topic, there was so much positivity in all the posts. I will always grieve the innocence I lost with my first two pregnancies which caused me to be so anxious throughout my whole successful pregnancy. I forget sometimes about just how anxious I was- every day of my pregnancy I left my desk at work prepared in case something went wrong and I wasn’t able to come in the next day. But like others have mentioned, I have tucked most of the grief away, because if I hadn’t gone through that, my son wouldn’t be here today.

  2. So many great posts!! Thank you for sharing ladies. I have read a few so far and still have many to go through but they have been so interesting to read.

Trackbacks

  1. […] now posted the complete listing of posts submitted for the September Monthly Theme – Guilt and Grieving. We appreciate how difficult this theme was for everybody, whether you submitted a post or not. […]

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