news item – the mom stays in the picture

Do you take pictures of yourself with your child?

For those of you that follow me on my blog, you already know that I’m a picture freak. I love pictures, and I have taken thousands of them over the past couple of years throughout my pregnancy and the first 1o months of my daughter’s life. Sure, the majority of my pictures are candids of Stella doing anything and everything, but there are also a good number of pictures of her with her Dad and me.

There are days…many days…where I’m feeling run down, chubby, greasy, and generally unkempt. However, even on these downer days, I really truly make an effort to take pictures of my husband and I with our daughter whenever possible. This is because my favorite pictures from my childhood are the ones of me with my Mom and my Dad! I can’t imagine not having those pictures because my mom was feeling bad about her self-image that day or because my Dad felt too tired to hold me and smile for the camera.

In this picture from last Sunday, I hadn’t showered, I had barely slept, and I felt run down and gross…but I am SO glad that I have this picture of us anyway!

Capturing those moments with our children is a priceless gift, and that is why my eyes lit up when I read this article about a Mom who chose to be in the picture. I seriously could have put the entire article below in quotes  because I loved it so much – so go read it now, and then come back. Capisce?

I’m still carrying a fair amount of baby weight and wearing a nursing bra, and I don’t fit into my cute clothes. I felt awkward and tired and rumpled.

…but we really need to make an effort to get in the picture. Our sons need to see how young and beautiful and human their mamas were. Our daughters need to see us vulnerable and open and just being ourselves — women, mamas, people living lives. Avoiding the camera because we don’t like to see our own pictures? How can that be okay?

…So when all is said and done, if I can’t do it for myself, I want to do it for my kids. I want to be in the picture, to give them that visual memory of me. I want them to see how much I am here, how my body looks wrapped around them in a hug, how loved they are.

I feel like the author made so many great points in this article, and it’s a message that I hope we can all take to heart, because I’ve truly never met a mother who regretted being in a picture with her child(ren). Have you?

On a similar note, I just saw this image on my FB wall feed today. Normally FB drives me a little batty, but I thought this photo was worth sharing, especially when you look at it from the ALI perspective: (please ignore the bad grammar!)

Right?! So well said.

So my challenge to you is this. Take a picture of you with your child(ren). Post it on your blog (and link to it in the comments here!). Print it and put it in a frame. Celebrate that you are their Mommy and you are a GREAT Mommy, and give them that picture to look back when they are older. You are worth it, and they deserve it.

*****

Do you take pictures with your kids?

Did your parents take pictures with you?

Do you think it’s important to be in the picture?

What’s your favorite childhood photo of yourself?

*****

Share. Visit. Read. Comment. Support.

Advertisements

Comments

  1. I posted this article on my fb wall. Loved it. I think it is really important but I have been v bad to start with and Chippie is useless at taking photos.

    I don’t think mum was in many of our photos but back then photos were so expensive! I have two if my dad and I that I love. I have them up at home so will scan and put on my blog. It’s funny but my mum who I adore and I don’t have the same photos probably because you so feel so blah after giving birth.

    • Yep – new mothers often feel “blah,” and like you, I have more pictures with my Dad than my Mom, but the ones I do have with each of them I treasure!!

  2. I tried last night while I was taking Chloe’s 14 month pictures to get one of the two of us, but unless I took it of our reflection in the mirror, there was no way I could do it by myself with our nice camera. My camera phone is a different story, but she doesn’t sit still long enough for that to snap a picture if someone isn’t in front of her as a distraction. I know those aren’t good excuses, but that’s the main reason. I do need to learn to hand the camera over to JJ more and have him get shots of me and Chloe. I read that article the other day and loved the message. You’re right – my favorite pictures of my childhood are the ones with my parents, not just me by myself.

    • Yep – i have taken a gazillion pics with my camera phone, b/c every once in awhile one of them turns out. That one I posted above is actually a camera phone pic that my friend snapped of us last weekend. Sometime it works out!

  3. This really hits home. In fact, the other day I was thinking that I need to make more of an effort to get pictures of Alexis and I together. I don’t have many for all of the reasons listed – I feel blah, I don’t like the way I look…the list goes on. BUT, thinking about it, the pictures I treasure the most are the ones with me and mom or me and dad – or even better all three of us in them. I know that my mom has a picture of her and her dad (who has since passed) when she was little and she treasures that picture above all others because it is one of the few she has with the two of them. I have no doubt that when my grandmother passes she will have a special photo of the two of them that she will treasure in the same way. I want Alexis to have those pictures of me and her and her and her dad to treasure.

    • Exactly – that’s what hit me about this article. It’s the pics of me WITH my parents that I treasure the most. It’s a great reminder of what my own daughter will probably want when she thinks about the memories of her own childhood.

  4. Oh wow – this is such a great reminder. I have a ton of pics of my Alex, but very few of the two of us. Must get better. Thanks for this!

  5. I loved that article.

    These photos were taken in August, on my anniversary. I hadn’t showered and was sweaty from hiking…in August. But they’re still two of my favorite photos of me with my son!

    http://thewildrumpus12.wordpress.com/2012/08/02/crunchy/

    • I commented on your actual post, but I wanted to say thanks for sharing. I love the natural, outdoorsy pics like that. Your son will love seeing that you just took him with on hikes like that!

  6. This gave me EMOTIONS, and then I wrote a post about it. Should be in the trackbacks! Be prepared for GLAMOUR and BEAUTY y’all.

  7. What page did you ‘like’ (or was it an individual you’re friends with?) that posted that image? I LOVE it, and want to re-post but would like to give credit!

  8. Loved this article!!! Thank you for sharing, as I think it is so important…. which is why I had to write my own little post about it.. http://palmtreemama.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-mom-stays-in-picture.html … We mamas need to get in those photos!

  9. I read this article earlier this week and it really did strike a nerve. Here’s my post (with some pretty fugly pictures of me) on the matter… http://threegeminisandasagittarius.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-mom-stays-in-picture.html

  10. I WANT TO LEAVE WORK *RIGHT NOW* AND TAKE PICTURES OF ME AND G!!! Thank you for this. I’m going to start demanding pictures being taken of me and G now. And I may also start demanding pictures of him with other family members too.

    It’s sometimes harder for me to be in pictures anyway because I’m the photographer when we’re out. I’ll be teaching people to usem y camera now 😉

    I think the great thing about this article is that t can also be applied to dads, autnts, uncles, and grandparents.

  11. OK I answered all the questions in my comment and then decided I’ll just make a post out of it….so here is my comment…

    http://fertiltyfrustration.blogspot.com/2012/10/mom-in-picture.html

  12. Ahhhhh! I commented and now it’s gone. Shoot!

    I love this photo – it is perfect! I love that you take so many photos of you with your girl. She deserves them!

    My parents took lots of photos of themselves with us while we were growing up, and I feel very lucky to have them 🙂

  13. moonstone says:

    All very true. . . I avoid the camera as much as possible. There are already very few photos of me during my teenage years (yuck!) and my 20s (I just wasn’t much of a photograph person really). Perhaps now that I’m in the happiest-ever stage of my life I should keep a better record. There are very few photos of us as a family of three and absolutely none of us as a family of four (nearly 4 months in!).

    Josey – even in the picture above you look better than most of us could hope to look at our very best, you have nothing to worry about!

    Moonstone x

    • Ha. Well thank you, but we are all our own worst critics, aren’t we?

      NO pictures as a family of 4? Not okay!! Take one tonight!! Jump on the couch together and take a self-portrait. You’ll treasure those shots!

  14. Thank you for posting this! I needed it bigtime! I have felt all those things lately. I’m at my heaviest, I hate my hair, hate my cothes (nothing fits!) and that leads to me hate being in pictures. Most of the pictures we have with Sam are with her Dad. And this makes me so sad. Of course, I want pictures of them two together! But I should have a ton with her and me! I need to stop my craziness and “get in the picture.” 🙂 I actually had a REALLY hard time posting the picture of me and her at the apple orchard on my blog 😦 So sad. But thanks for this! I needed it 🙂

    • You know what – I actually THOUGHT that when I saw the pic of you guys at the orchard (that I hadn’t seen a pic of the two of you in a long time). I’m glad you posted it! Get in the picture. 🙂

  15. I have *~*emotions*~* about this one.

    I want to be in photos with my girls. I do. I have body image issues, and terrible skin that THANK GOODNESS I was able to cover up well enough to look decent in the photo of me and Chandra that was posted one entry over, and I hate photos of myself… but I want my girls to have photos with me in them from their childhood. We have a few that I love, including our first photo of the two of them with me after they were born– that’s one of my favorites.

    But I’m the photo-taker. I see some people with home videos on YouTube where the dad is basically up in everyone’s face with a video camera, and that’s just not my husband’s thing. He doesn’t think to do that and he’s not really “into” family videos, although he does love to watch them sometimes, so it’s me who is constantly capturing every moment. We have scores of photos of my parents with the girls, and my husband with the girls, and friends with the girls, but few of me, and that means I can’t be picky and go through deleting all the ones that don’t look good and saving the two that I do like. I have to save them all even when I hate them, and there still aren’t many,

    I am not a great photo-taker, either, and I just use my iPhone camera app and another one I downloaded (Camera Plus) so I can do adjustments to the colors, white balance, etc. I see people who take phenomenal photos on their blogs and it’s like, man, I wish I knew how to do that, I wish I could go out and buy a camera with big detachable flashes and lenses so all my photos could look awesome and I’d get a tripod and timer so I could be IN photos…

    I’ve been trying to get into photos with my girls this past week or two, actually. They’re all myspace angles and weird close-ups, but I’m in there, at least. And I’ll try to get on my husband to take more.

    • J o s e y says:

      Honestly, the vast majority of the pictures that have me in them are from my little Droid camera phone, and if they’re from my nice camera, it’s when I hand it to my husband (or someone passing by) and say HERE, take a picture please (and since he uses it like a point & shoot, it’s not like it’s any different than any other point & shoot picture). I’m glad you’re making an effort to be IN the pictures more – you won’t regret it!

Trackbacks

  1. […] morning, Josey posted a news item on PAIL via The Huffington Post: “The Mom Stays in the […]

  2. […] at Pail, a news item was shared about moms not being in photos with their […]

  3. […] link to the Huffington Post article on my facebook the other day before Josey posted the article on PAIL. It was just so bloody […]

  4. […] order to jump on the badwagon over at PAIL and upload some pictures of Sofia and Momma, I had to go back to those early days. It seems like […]

  5. […] commented on the very popular piece “The Mom Stays in the Picture” that appeared on the Huffington Post recently. We had an amazing response to this news item, […]

  6. […] am so excited and have the perfect picture, we just took it yesterday! Based on PAIL’s and Josey’s last post, I am making a concerted effort to be in more pictures, even if I don’t love the way I look […]

  7. […] rather take photos of their kids because they think they look bad.) There was a cool, coordinated PAIL response, with lots of moms purposefully taking photos of themselves with their kids. Then, Loribeth wrote a […]

  8. […] he couldn’t take all of the pictures; he had to be in them as well. I thought immediately of PAIL’s news item from a couple of months ago. Dads need to stay in the picture, […]

  9. […] The Mom Stays in the Picture – (parenting, mothering, memories, self-esteem) […]

  10. […] “The Mom Stays in the Picture” […]

  11. […] As a quick note – I wasn’t actually intending on being in any of the pictures, so my hair is goofy and I don’t have makeup on and I’m wearing an old black t-shirt. Oops! Still, when Nicky asked if I wanted some pics of me with the kids, I had to say yes or I’d have regretted it for sure. How’s that for “staying in the picture“?! […]

%d bloggers like this: