featured post: “fears” by Amanda

While reading through posts in the PAIL Blogroll reader last week, I came across My life in a nutshell.  In it, Amanda had written a post named Fears.

For the past 2 nights, I have woken up at 3 am and all I can do is worry.  I am terrified that the baby will die before I go into labour or worse, it will die during labour.  I’ve researched the data, and almost 1800 cases of still-births happen each year in Ontario – the national average being 6.4 for every 1000.  For some reason, I thought researching the likely-hood will give me comfort – instead it has made me worry even more.

She is 40 weeks pregnant and full of fear right now, and she could really use some advice and support from all of you! In her most recent post from today, she wrote this:

For myself, I am in a weird place.  I am so close to having ‘everything I have ever wanted’ as many of my co-workers have pointed out time and time again.  However, I’m also still so far away.  My baby isn’t here yet so anything is possible.  Also, my body is once again not co-operating by having high blood pressure and not starting to dilate etc to bring the baby to me.  Both of my miscarriages were missed.  In neither situation, did I experience the cramping, bleeding or any other symptom associated with miscarriage.  I found out my babies had died through an ultrasound and needed medical intervention to rid my body of the dead fetus.  Now, sitting her waiting for my baby, I wonder if my body once again will hold onto this pregnancy for dear life.  Does my body want to stay pregnant forever?  Does it even know what it is supposed to do naturally?  If not, does this mean I wont be able to deliver my child?

If you have a minute to share a reassuring story or give words of advice, please go visit Amanda at My life in a nutshell to answer some of her questions.

Did anyone else have these irrational fears?  If so, how did you cope?  How did you move on and enjoy the experience.  Why does this pregnancy have to be so filled with worry and anxiety?


Amanda in her own words: 30 years old married to my best friend. Expecting our first baby after two losses and struggling with being able to get pregnant.


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