january 2013 – monthly theme post – “where do babies come from?”

About 6 weeks ago, I was at the local community centre with HGB for Toddler RunAroundLikeABansheeonFire Gym, and a little girl started talking to me. She informed me that she was 3, had hair, was a big girl, could use the potty, had a dog, and disliked pants. Right on, young lady!

And then she said “Why is your belly so fat?”

Errrrrrrm… I briefly contemplated confessing my actual vs. admitted cheese intake, but opted for “Because there is a baby in there!”

I think I blew her mind. She looked back and forth between my face and my belly a few times before asking the inevitable: “How did it get in there?”

*CUE PANIC* I’ve taught sex education… in high school. I don’t know how to talk to a 3 year old about anything and now I have done a cannon ball into the “Where do babies come from?” conversation?!? I asked her if her parents were with her and she said she came with her nanny. So I crouched down and told her this:

“When you get home later, remember to ask your Daddy that question, okay?”

“OKAY!” she says, and runs away.

Crisis averted! And you’re welcome, That Kid’s dad.


Two weeks ago, Jules highlighted a “news article” about how us infertiles are just wildly overbreeding, and that some day we are going to have awkward conversation explaining that to our 14 children.

All together now: ARGH! WTF! ARRRRGGGGGH!

But… it did raise a good point. Eventually, maybe even already, our kids are going to want to know where babies come from. It might be prudent to have a loose plan in place. Have you started to plan your plan? Because, uh, I haven’t, but it turns out these little people want to know things a lot earlier than I guessed.

After Jules posted that article, we got an email from April @ R. Sativus discussing how each and every one of us has a unique set of circumstances as to how our children came to be in our lives. She wondered how others have handled, have planned to handle, or have even thought about handling discussing their family building with their children. I was wondering the same thing after reading that article and posted the first few resources that popped into my head in the comments. But April really got *me* thinking… how am I going to handle this? What am I going to say, and when? Will I burst into flames or will I be a mature parent about it? I should probably plan for a plan! And lo, this month’s theme post topic was born.

Suggested Writing Prompts

  • Have you thought about when your child(ren) might ask the “Where do babies come from”” question and what you might say?
  • Do you plan to talk to them about ALI in general in an age-appropriate way at that time, or wait until they are older? When they ask?
  • Have you thought about sharing your specific infertility/loss experience and treatments with your child(ren)? Why or why not?
  • If you brought your child home through adoption, what will this process look like for you? Have you previously written on this topic?
  • Do you consider the gender of your children to be important in what you share about your unique set of circumstances? Why or why not?
  • How do imagine your thoughts on this topic might evolve over time?
  • Do you have any tips or advice on how to make this topic (general reproduction and/or as it relates to the ALI journey) age-appropriate?
  • Do you have any resources (links, books, podcasts) etc. that you could share in the comments to add to our Resources page?

As always, these questions are just a guide. Please feel free to write anything and everything you would like to on this topic in whichever way suits you best. If you have previously written on this topic, feel free to link away in your post, or submit any previous post on the topic as you see fit. And of course, if you do not have a blog of your own, we are happy to hear your thoughts in the comments and will link to your comment in the full post list for all to read.

Entries for this month’s theme are due Monday, January 21st at midnight, EST. The full list of links will go live on Tuesday, January 22.

Please submit your posts using this form:

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  1. Great topic! I’m excited about this theme post!

  2. Wow this is a great one… for once you may have me at a loss for words. Looking forward to reading everyone’s thoughts!


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