news item: marriage first, child second?

Unless you’re living under a rock lately [eta – sorry, apparently I’m just way too addicted to G&B news – you don’t necessarily live under a rock *grin*], you’ve probably heard about the brou-ha-ha going around about Giuliana Rancic’s comments in a recent US Weekly interview about putting her marriage first and her child second.

“We’re husband and wife, but we’re also best friends, and it’s funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second,” says the 37-year-old breast-cancer survivor. “That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage.”

It’s a really interesting topic that people obviously feel very strongly about. Today Moms wrote a great follow up piece about the article that explored the concept a littler further. They even compared the Rancic’s parenting “style” if you will to the French-style of parenting talked about in one of our former PAIL book club choices, “Bringing up Bebe” by Pamela Druckerman. Basically – the child is important, but not necessarily the center of the universe.

Some people disagree vehemently with this idea of putting marriage first, and they weren’t afraid to say it. Caution – don’t read the comments in the articles about this if you want to keep your cool. People throw out over the top phrases like “child abandonment” and “unfit to be a mother” and “not a real mother because she didn’t carry the baby herself” — as if that somehow makes her any less of a mother because they used a surrogate. GAH.

Guiana responded to the uproar by issuing this statement:

Bill and I understand that my comments have sparked some debate and feel it is a good thing to open the conversation about how to find a balance between your marriage and your children.

Your relationship is the first example your child learns from and we will do everything we can to show our child how much we love, respect and are devoted to one another. He can only benefit from this, and hopefully it will carry over into his other relationships throughout his life.

We get that there are as many parenting styles out there as there are parents, so we are curious what you think!


Do you put your marriage first or child first? Why?

Do you wish you prioritized the opposite of what you currently do?

Does the age of your child have an affect on which relationship you are currently prioritizing?

Do you think your ALI background affects your opinion on this?


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