questions from the blogroll: “sour milk/nasty formula triple whammy!”

Dec 6, 2012

This week we got an email from a reader looking for feeding advice for her daughter. While we have gathered some resources on eating/feeding, we thought “Who better than the blogroll to go to for advice?” So here we are folks – can you help?

The (Once) Bunless Oven wrote to us with this question:

Hi girls!

I hope you can help me – I’m currently struggling with the triple whammy of a baby with a dairy/soy allergy, breastmilk that is souring on storing (fresh or frozen) and an allergen-friendly formula that my little girl won’t drink. Eeek!!

I posted about this the other day and would *really* appreciate the advice and support of the awesome PAIL community. I’m sure there are women out there who’ve struggled with a situation like this. I’d love to hear from them.

Thanks! xx

What say you? Any words of advice? Have you written about this previously? Do you know of any resources that could help a mama out?

Please head over with any helpful advice! We will leave comments open here too for sharing of stories and resources as we are sure other families are (or  have) struggled with this as well. Thanks for sharing!

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If you are struggling with something, bring us your questions – the blogroll is there to help! Submit here! Check out our resources (which would we love to keep building with your help)!

featured post: “a tale of two tatas” by melissa

Sep 18, 2012

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed any children we were lucky to have.  It was never a question of ‘maybe, we’ll try it and see if I like it‘  I was pretty set.  Just like some Moms know they definitely do not want to breastfeed, I was pretty determined to breastfeed.   I even signed up for a class to learn about it which was comical in that the DH thought he didn’t have to go to that class.  Haha, no no honey, you’re my support person in this, you’re going to class.  So we went, we even had plastic babies to practice proper positioning for breastfeeding.  I wish I had pictures of all the guys in that class ‘nursing’ their plastic babies, PRICELESS.

But like all learning, reading and studying about it is one thing, doing it is completely another thing.  So Stella is born, and I had learned in class that babies “naturally” root and try to breastfeed.  GREAT, she comes pre-programmed!  This will be easy!  Well Stella naturally rooted, but she naturally rooted on me, on DH, on inanimate objects, etc.  But we got her latched minutes after birth and I was feeling pretty awesome.  Except I was SO excited I ignored the fact that it was hurting like hell. I knew she was probably not latched right.  But I figured it didn’t matter, we’d figure it out.  Well just a couple of times of improper latch left me extremely sore.  Which made for days of extreme discomfort.  Luckily we had access to a Lactation Consultant and it helped us get back on track.

I can remember at one point being pretty frustrated and I looked down at Stella and said “I thought you were supposed to know what you were doing!”  and she looked up at me like “umm, dude, I’m 4 days old, blinking is my biggest accomplishment right now.”

Now, almost 3 months in, we are doing great, I can honestly say I love breastfeeding and have had no discomfort issues since the first few weeks.  I know that’s not the case for everyone.  And I know I’ll be in for some bumps in the road when teething starts or other issues arise.

Melissa, at Banking On A Family, writes this week about some bumps in the road that she has hit with breastfeeding.  Her post spoke to me because I am so committed to breastfeeding, and in her post you can really sense just how committed she is to breastfeeding too.

Melissa’s “bumps” have her questioning whether to continue breastfeeding or not.  She writes that this questioning leaves her feeling like a “quitter and a failure.”  Melissa perfectly puts into words the how I feel about being able to breastfeed my own child:

I can’t help but reflect on how significantly being able to physically provide milk for my daughter effects my sense of self-worth. It’s hard to quantify the amount of pride I feel from filling a little storage bag to the brim with wholesome milk that I know is for her.  I look upon my stash of frozen bags of milk as though they were bars of gold. Not to mention how very much I love snuggling and being so close to her. Watching her suckle while her eyes slowly close.  It makes me fall more and more in love with her.

Melissa also taught me something about nursing.  I did not know that when/if a child starts to bite during nursing that you’re just supposed to not react and calmly remove them from the breast.  How does one not react to a small human BITING one of your most sensitive spots?  Melissa writes:

…my reaction is no where near as graceful. It’s typically a yelp or gasp and it takes everything I have to remember not to pull away without breaking her latch first. There are behaviors to look for that typically happen before a bite, and sweet Jesus, can I tell you I look for them. But it happens anyway.

Melissa’s post also spoke to me because she is honest.  Things are rough right now and she is not trying to hide it, and she is also trying to honestly evaluate if breastfeeding is still working for her and her child.  With every parenting choice we make, it has to work for both parent and child, otherwise it can lead to resentment in the parent and frustration in the child.  A good parent is honest enough to know that choices have to be reviewed and evaluated, and possibly changed if need be.  I hope Melissa is able to continue to breastfeed.  But I hope most of all that she makes the choice that is right for her and her child.

Please visit Melissa’s post, A Tale of Two Tata’s, read about the issues she is having, and let her know she has support from all of us.  Perhaps you have been in a situation similar to hers and can offer some help.

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Melissa in her own words: Parenting an amazing baby girl after TTC for close to five years. Diagnosed with Ovulatory PCOS , MTHFR, elevated TH1, TH2 and Natural Killer Cells. Also dealing with Severe MFI. We got pregnant from our first IVF cycle (SO fricken lucky) in April 0f 2011, and delivered a beautifully healthy baby girl the following December. Still feeling very much infertile and find myself in utter disbelief that I awaken each morning to a cooing baby. 

Share. Visit. Read. Comment. Support.

featured post: “Formula Moms are not the Devil” by 3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Baby

Jul 24, 2012

I am a regular follower of Julia’s, and when I first read her post a few weeks ago, I felt badly that she felt people were judging her for making an incredibly difficult and personal decision.

Admittedly, breastfeeding vs. formula feeding (or some combination of the two) is a hot button issue for many in the mothering world. That being said, when I read the article Julia linked to in her post, I didn’t find it offensive – I found it to be filled with information I wish I had known when I was struggling with breastfeeding in those early days and weeks. I’m not a fan of posts written from the baby’s perspective, but that’s just personal preference, and overall, it seemed to be an article that was very informative.

But then I re-read Julia’s post and went back and read that article from the perspective of a Mom who was formula feeding her baby, and I understood how it could make her feel defensive. When Julia wrote to us about her post, she said:

Through my journey of TTC, I dreamed of extended breastfeeding, so imagine my guilt and shame when we were unable to do so… and then the horror of the judgement I received from all angles of moms (from my moms group, to family) that I was being lazy or that I didn’t love my child. Then one day, a friend on facebook posted a blog link that sent me over the edge.

Just because I formula feed doesn’t make me a worse mother than one who breastfeeds. No mother wants less than the best for their child, and for us, formula was the only option.

I hope that bringing [my] post to light, and the topic about how we formula moms feel about the eyes we know are upon us will help show the world that we love our children the same that you do!

So many of us know the feeling of being judged for everything from pursing ART to achieve our baby-making dreams to co-sleeping, baby-wearing, or any other number of “hot button” issues. I think Julia’s post is a great reminder to check our judgments at the door, and remember that this is how all of us feel about our babies:

I love my son more than life itself, and to imply otherwise will awaken the beast.  Remember, don’t anger the makers of the tiny humans… they will eat you alive.

Please head over to 3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Baby and share your thoughts with Julia on her post “Formula Moms are not the Devil.” Comments on this thread will be closed in an effort for you to connect with Julia directly and share your thoughts with her.

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Remember – PAIL’s March Theme Posts were all about feeding our babies, and there are lots of wonderful posts about breastfeeding, formula feeding, and everything in between. Check them out!

If you have a post (of any kind, old or new!) that you would like share, please fill out the form on the main Featured Posts page here. You are welcome to submit your a post of your own! 

And a reminder – there is a group of fabulous featured posts from June indexed under the June 2012 collection. 

featured post: “birth part two: first week freak out” by survive infertility and thrive

Jun 26, 2012

Last week, Heather from Survive Infertility and Thrive submitted one of her own posts to the open thread, and I was thrilled! It is wonderful to see bloggers putting themselves out there to connect, especially over something so difficult. Her submission also came in just before Julie Anita posted her news item asking whether parents were happier people.

Heather had me at the description of her post:

How infertility makes us see motherhood with rose coloured glasses – and the harsh reality of what suddenly giving birth really means – my first week freak out.

I know that I struggled with the realities of of early parenthood –  I think we all do, whether we admit it or not. And the admitting part is the hardest. This is a huge topic that will be explored in many posts in the future, but Heather focuses on one issue in particular than many of us have struggled with – breastfeeding.

It was somewhere in between my boobs being shoved in every direction inside a chewing little mouth mutilating my nipples and being told very seriously from the pediatrician that if he did not get enough food he would land up being brain damaged, that I officially lost my sense of self. In fact by Saturday there was very little of “me” left.

I admire Heather’s honesty in this post. It takes courage to admit that parenting has moments that are very, very challenging – infertile or not.  It’s going to be hard, and it’s going to be okay.

Please head over to Survive Infertility and Thrive and share your thoughts with Heather on her post Birth Part Two: First Week Freak Out. Comments on this thread will be closed in an effort for you to connect with Heather directly and share your thoughts with her.

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If you have a post (of any kind, old or new!) that you would like share, please post a link in the comments of the Featured Posts open thread for June, 2012. An open thread for July will go online shortly.

And a reminder – there is a collection of fabulous posts about breastfeeding and formula feeding indexed under the March 2012 Theme Post. A really great collection of experiences and wisdom!

Share. Visit. Read. Comment. Support.